How everyone parent's differently, but it doesn't have to affect your friendships

When we become parents, we are often thrown together with other new parents. The excitement and fear of this babe in arms, makes us think we all have so much in common, and we gel with our new friends as if they were sent down from above to socialise with us.

This is great whilst the baby doesn't do much, but as baby grows up and becomes toddler, then nursery child, then school child, and we start to form our own ideas of how to bring them up, things change.

Every parent does what they think is right or best for their child, and every parent will frown on something other parents do, even if they are your best friend.

This is normal. Do not think that your friendship is now over because you have different views of eating vegetables, or how many after school activities your child does, or when they do their homework.
It is actually very important and healthy to have friends who live their lives very differently from ourselves. If we all acted exactly the same, then we wouldn't be able to appreciate what we are doing for our children, or learn from others on new stances we can take.

Additionally every child is different, and some like to do things differently to others.  This isn't just something they learn from the way they are brought up, as parents of multiple children will confirm. You have two or three children, treat them and bring them up exactly the same and they will be as different as chalk and cheese!

So next time your child comes home from a playdate and says "Charlies mum lets him eat ice cream before dinner/have a late night/wears odd socks to school" don't tut and mutter about his mother under your breath. Listen to what your child is saying and maybe ask yourself, if I did that for my child on occasion would it ruin his whole upbringing? or say to yourself, its so funny how Charlie's family do things differently to ours, that difference is probably why the kids get on so well.

Embrace difference, it's what makes us all so interesting and fun to be with.

Coping at work... when you don't want to be there

There comes a time in most people's lives, when the day job really gets to you. Whether it's a bully boss, crap money, bad working environment, or just that you've had enough of the day to day monotony that is your job, you might start to think that you need a change.  And rightly so, once you feel that you no longer want to be in the environment you are in, you need to make changes, get your CV updated, think about what you want to be doing and start applying for new jobs or opportunities.

The only problem is, this process can sometimes take a very, very long time. And during that time, you tell yourself every day that you will get out of the hell hole and something amazing will happen. This is a fabulous, positive start, but the longer you stay in the "hell hole" the more you resent it. The more you dread going in every day, look for the worst in the work you do, the building, the people. You sneer at your colleagues and count down the minutes until you can leave again.

So what do you need to do? Firstly, praise yourself for recognising it's time to move on, and be happy that your CV is out there being circulated, that interview shirt is ironed and waiting and you are being pro-active, but then you DO have to go back to work, and you DO have to spend your hours there. So don't resent them, look at the positives that you enjoyed when you first started your job. Do you get on with your other colleagues? Then have a laugh with them, join in their banter, eat their cakes and chocolates and don't sit in the corner sulking. Think of the positives about the company itself, if there are any. Think how productive things are, how profitable it is doing (or not completely sinking, if not doing that well). If you tell yourself daily how much you hate your job and the place you're working in, then you will put yourself into a depression, one that you cannot do much about because you already are making the moves to get yourself out, its just sometimes a more lengthy process that you want. If you tell yourself you want to get out of there asap, but in the meantime, you will have a laugh, do your job as best you can and praise the company on their successes.

Just because you remain happy and positive does not mean you don't still want to leave. It just means that the road to the new job will be a much happier one, and one that you are in control of.