Why we need to speak our minds more...

In the light of the horrific attacks in Paris and other places around the world, our thoughts have gone haywire, and it is impossible not to have your own opinion on our current world.

Racial tension is high, nationalism is high but as we know, these are not racist or xenophobe attacks. These are attacks from a small group of radicals, who's beliefs do not actually fit in with any religious teachings or reading.  If people don't speak up and stand up for themselves, and turn a blind eye to what is going on, then it will continue.

This is the same in our personal lives. If you see things that you really don't appreciate or agree with, you need to stand up. It could be something simple, like the lack of road safety near a school, or seeing an animal being mistreated.  You might think that someone else will sort it out, and make the problem go away, but what if everyone is thinking the same thing.

It's time to let yourself be heard. People are not going to hate you for speaking your mind, and you just might make a difference.  If you don't complain about a bad haircut, there will be some poor hairdresser losing his reputation, and causing upset one client at a time. If you went back to him and said, I'm not happy with my wonky fringe, you are giving him the chance to make good his mistake and learn from it.

If you don't say anything about the drivers speeding down your road in the dark evenings, then you might be risking your or someone else's life by these inconsiderate drivers. If you spoke to your local council and expressed your views, and others did too, then measures can be taken and lives could be saved.

If you allow someone else to bully you, mentally or physically, but it's not so bad that you need to go to hospital/stay off work then you might be allowing them to do it to others. Others who are not as strong as you. Stand up, tell them what you don't like about their actions and let yourself be heard to stop them from ruining your life and others.

Shout from the rooftops. If you aren't concerned about doing it for your own welfare (although you very much should be) then do it for others. Do it to save lives, save embarrassment and encourage others to do the same.

Be different....

I felt the need to blog today about how more and more sheepish we are becoming. Not in a shy retiring way, but in a "like sheep" way, whereby we accept what the majority is doing is the norm and therefore we should fit in alongside it and live our lives this way.

Is that what you really want to do?  Does the pressure of other people's existing stop you from being you?  Ask yourself this question and really evaluate the answer you give yourself.

I had a client a few weeks ago, she had booked herself a cosmetic surgery operation and was excited about the prospect, but she was also very concerned that her friends thought she was mad. She was about to pay thousands of pounds to correct something on her body she was unhappy with, but her friends had nearly all said to her "we all have that problem, you just have to live with it. It's called aging".  But she was adamant she wanted this surgery to make her feel good about herself but now had the additional worry of being talked about. I said to her, "I bet you will be happy to be talked about when you feel amazing with your body." She did agree but felt it had separated herself a bit from her group of friends.

Another example is of a guy who is bored of getting drunk in the pub. All his friends go to the pub every friday night and they spend hours drinking as much as they can before they crawl home, usually in a state of 'not going to be able to get up on Saturday morning'. He wants to join them in the pub, but doesn't want to drink, and as a result has decided he can't join them any more and has separated himself from his friends.

The problem with both of these situations, is that they are personal choices made by two individuals who haven't followed the herds, but their thoughts of their 'herds' of friends judging them has put them at unease.  The simple solution is, what you're doing guys is great, fantastic. We actually all want to see others being different, doing things differently, but we still want you as our friend.  Embrace your differences and celebrate them. You are still the same person, and your friends will still love you, whatever personal choices you make.

From another angle, your differences may encourage the more sheep-like of your friends to follow their own paths and live their own lives, rather than those presented to them!

Go out and be your amazing self.
xx