How long is life? No one can answer that question, as it's different for everyone. But most people might agree that it is shorter than we might think.
And that leads to my question of the day - What are you waiting for? Why are you waiting? How long do you think you'll go on waiting before you realise that you are living now and today.
It's natural and normal to plan for the future, I'm not talking about that. It's sensible to plan your finances, plan your retirement, plan you kids growing up, as you will hopefully need these plans in place when the time comes.
But have a look at yourself and how YOU are living RIGHT NOW. Are you happy in your job? Marriage? Home? Social life? Do you feel that you're at a stage where if you went back 10 years, you would have planned to be in this state, or if you went forward 10 years would you look back and smile? No? Why not?
It is so important to remember that we are living in the present, and if something isn't right, right now, then you need to do something about it. If you hate your job, then start looking for a new one. Don't "give it another year" to see if it gets better, because during that year, you will get more and more despondent and unhappy, more and more stressed or bored and chances are, it won't get much better. How can something so bad now, suddenly be amazing in a years' time.
The same goes for your relationship. Are you waiting on your other half to "change", and suddenly realise the way you're being treated isn't the way you want to be treated? What makes a person change their whole persona when they've not done it yet?
If you're not happy, you need to ask yourself why you're not happy and what will make you happy. Then you need to put a plan in place, right now, to try and make you happy (using existing tools/people/jobs). And if that doesn't work you need to change your situation and make yourself happy. Life is too short to wait and wait and hope. If you don't make your own changes now, no one else is going to do them for you, and before you know it, you'll be 10 years older and just as unhappy.
LIVE YOUR LIFE AS YOU WANT TO LIVE IT NOW, NOT IN THE FUTURE.
Thursday, 13 October 2016
Sunday, 17 July 2016
Tiny acts of kindness go a long long way.
I've not blogged for a while and HUGE apologies for that, but I was too busy adhering to my last blog and having a finger in every pie. Whilst coaching, working, parenting and now selling clothes, life is pretty busy and fun too, but today's blog is a reminder of how tiny acts of kindness can do so much to boost someone's emotions, make them feel great, and therefore make you feel great too.
I experienced this first hand today, and it's touched me so much that I felt compelled to write about it. It will certainly remind me to think about how I too, can do tiny acts of kindness to make someone else's life a hell of a lot better.
We were on our way to a Cheerleading Competition, and the venue was about a 15 minute drive from home. We set off, on time (usually I'm early for everything, so I was panicking a bit here) and drove down the sliproad onto the M25 for one junction. An excited cheerleader in the backseat, having practiced her cheer with her school friends numerous times, wearing the team Tshirt and saving her snacks.
We hit traffic, and we hit it bad. Trying to remain calm, we were only 15 minutes from the venue after all, and knowing we were the last team to cheer we crawled along the road, less than 10 miles per hour. As we were reaching the exit to the motorway we got the call to say the girls were on next. We had no hope of getting there and my daughter Molly (and I) was devastated. An hour and 20 minutes later, we decided against going to the venue but rather treated the girls to a play in the Arcades at the Hollywood bowl. We were texting our Cheerleading friends and posting on Facebook to find out how they did. Being brilliant Cheerleaders, they won.
I received a text from one friend saying that Molly would still get her medal (after all the hard work is done in the classes not on the final) and we posted on Facebook where we were in case anyone wanted to join us.
Of course after a big event like that, the girls get tired and most went home, but then I saw coming through the double doors of the bowling alley one of my daughters' friends and her Mum. They had purposely come to find us to give my daughter her medal, as her friend's mum said "They'll all have them at school tomorrow, Molly should have hers".
I cried. Molly was really touched, They couldn't stay and play with us as they had to be off. It was a small thing, and really we were at a venue on their way home, but the thoughtfulness and kindness of thinking of Molly and how she would feel tomorrow without her medal, made them want to bring it to her.
If more and more people behaved like this, it would certainly bring back some of the community spirit, sense of belonging and warm heartedness to many, many more people. And I for one, will look to behave like this at every single opportunity I have.
I experienced this first hand today, and it's touched me so much that I felt compelled to write about it. It will certainly remind me to think about how I too, can do tiny acts of kindness to make someone else's life a hell of a lot better.
We were on our way to a Cheerleading Competition, and the venue was about a 15 minute drive from home. We set off, on time (usually I'm early for everything, so I was panicking a bit here) and drove down the sliproad onto the M25 for one junction. An excited cheerleader in the backseat, having practiced her cheer with her school friends numerous times, wearing the team Tshirt and saving her snacks.
We hit traffic, and we hit it bad. Trying to remain calm, we were only 15 minutes from the venue after all, and knowing we were the last team to cheer we crawled along the road, less than 10 miles per hour. As we were reaching the exit to the motorway we got the call to say the girls were on next. We had no hope of getting there and my daughter Molly (and I) was devastated. An hour and 20 minutes later, we decided against going to the venue but rather treated the girls to a play in the Arcades at the Hollywood bowl. We were texting our Cheerleading friends and posting on Facebook to find out how they did. Being brilliant Cheerleaders, they won.
I received a text from one friend saying that Molly would still get her medal (after all the hard work is done in the classes not on the final) and we posted on Facebook where we were in case anyone wanted to join us.
Of course after a big event like that, the girls get tired and most went home, but then I saw coming through the double doors of the bowling alley one of my daughters' friends and her Mum. They had purposely come to find us to give my daughter her medal, as her friend's mum said "They'll all have them at school tomorrow, Molly should have hers".
I cried. Molly was really touched, They couldn't stay and play with us as they had to be off. It was a small thing, and really we were at a venue on their way home, but the thoughtfulness and kindness of thinking of Molly and how she would feel tomorrow without her medal, made them want to bring it to her.
If more and more people behaved like this, it would certainly bring back some of the community spirit, sense of belonging and warm heartedness to many, many more people. And I for one, will look to behave like this at every single opportunity I have.
Monday, 30 May 2016
Having a finger in every pie can be very tasty!
As a rule, we are led to believe that in life, we go to school, grow up and get one job. But for some of us, one is not enough, one is boring and one is unsatisfying. When I say job, I am of course here talking entrepreneurial ambitions, not 9-5 day jobs. I don't think anyone would cope with two of the latter!
Today's technology opens the whole world up to us from the comfort of our own home, so why not take advantage of it, if you can cope with the multi tasking and time? Why is it frowned upon and why do other people try and find the negatives in our excited adventures "Oh, but I thought you were a secretary, so how can you be an Aloe Vera seller too?" might be a common response.
But with technology and access to the web on our phones, our tablets and at home, and social media reaching out further than we could have ever imagined, why not give everything a go! As long as you're declaring your sales to the tax man and it's all above board, why not?
The advantages of having a finger in every pie is that life is exciting! When one project is on a go slow, you can work on another, while one might be earning you a nice bob, the other is supporting an amazing charity and bringing smiles to others faces. and whilst you may love being a car mechanic, getting down and dirty, getting the motor back on the road, what if you love your sparkly shoes as much as your car and want to sell your dream shoes to your friends and neighbours, earning yourself discounted pairs in the process.
I am a multi opportunist! If I had my own way (and maybe a LITTLE more time), I would not only be coaching and making other's lives better one at a time, whilst embarking on my children's clothing market, which can be managed whilst i'm asleep on ebay and facebook; I would also love to write a novel, play in a band and be part of a theatre group. Understandable, I know at the moment I don't have the time for ALL of that, but if I did, what is to stop me? I could be a different person every day of the week, but still be little old me in the background.
Don't feel guilty or pressured into staying with one "job", take on what you can, stop and start as often as you like, give everything a go whilst it makes you happy, complete and possibly even rich!
Today's technology opens the whole world up to us from the comfort of our own home, so why not take advantage of it, if you can cope with the multi tasking and time? Why is it frowned upon and why do other people try and find the negatives in our excited adventures "Oh, but I thought you were a secretary, so how can you be an Aloe Vera seller too?" might be a common response.
But with technology and access to the web on our phones, our tablets and at home, and social media reaching out further than we could have ever imagined, why not give everything a go! As long as you're declaring your sales to the tax man and it's all above board, why not?
The advantages of having a finger in every pie is that life is exciting! When one project is on a go slow, you can work on another, while one might be earning you a nice bob, the other is supporting an amazing charity and bringing smiles to others faces. and whilst you may love being a car mechanic, getting down and dirty, getting the motor back on the road, what if you love your sparkly shoes as much as your car and want to sell your dream shoes to your friends and neighbours, earning yourself discounted pairs in the process.
I am a multi opportunist! If I had my own way (and maybe a LITTLE more time), I would not only be coaching and making other's lives better one at a time, whilst embarking on my children's clothing market, which can be managed whilst i'm asleep on ebay and facebook; I would also love to write a novel, play in a band and be part of a theatre group. Understandable, I know at the moment I don't have the time for ALL of that, but if I did, what is to stop me? I could be a different person every day of the week, but still be little old me in the background.
Don't feel guilty or pressured into staying with one "job", take on what you can, stop and start as often as you like, give everything a go whilst it makes you happy, complete and possibly even rich!
Tuesday, 26 April 2016
Confidence
Why do we lack confidence?
When we are born, we have all the confidence we can handle, we smile at strangers, we reach out to people and things we're not sure what the hell they are. We investigate, we shout, we do everything that we should always do.... and then we grow up.
We spend far too much time worrying about how our behaviour will be accepted by others. We become afraid to approach others in case they don't like us or push us away. We don't want to try new things because we don't know the outcome, and the less confident we are, the less we try and the more anxious and worried we become.
Here's how to stop this downward spiral, and start an upward turn where you'll be reaching right up to the sky and beyond.
Start with something you know you're just slightly doubtful of. It could be a neighbours dog, or an item of food. If you normally would avoid this, make a big effort to try it (please don't eat your neighbour's dog though).
If you don't like the experience, park it as something tried but not liked, but praise yourself for having the confidence to try it.
If you liked it, mark that down as one down, thousands to go! And WELL DONE!
Next, move on to a slightly more unsure area. Maybe try doing a presentation to colleagues, where normally you're the one hiding at the back of the meeting room, or bake a cake for friends who you've not baked for before. This time you can judge other's reactions to your new confidence. What's the worst that can happen? Would someone really stand up and tell you your presentation is crap? Would they spit out the cake in front of you? Chances are 99% of your audience will be polite. Even if they didn't like the cake, they're not going to be rude about it, and if they liked it, you'll have put a big smile on someone's face.
The harder challenge is to make a new friend. This confidence boost relies on someone else responding in the exact way that you picture it in your mind. We can't read other's minds, so we really can't preempt their reaction. What we can do though is give it a go. Remind ourselves of the confidence we've had in eating new foods, talking in front of other, petting that dog etc. and just go all out for it.
Actually, the response isn't then what will give you even more confidence, it's the way you handle yourself and keep on going.
Confidence is not "They WILL like me!". Confidence IS "I don't care if they don't!"
You can do it, go out and be your own hero.
When we are born, we have all the confidence we can handle, we smile at strangers, we reach out to people and things we're not sure what the hell they are. We investigate, we shout, we do everything that we should always do.... and then we grow up.
We spend far too much time worrying about how our behaviour will be accepted by others. We become afraid to approach others in case they don't like us or push us away. We don't want to try new things because we don't know the outcome, and the less confident we are, the less we try and the more anxious and worried we become.
Here's how to stop this downward spiral, and start an upward turn where you'll be reaching right up to the sky and beyond.
Start with something you know you're just slightly doubtful of. It could be a neighbours dog, or an item of food. If you normally would avoid this, make a big effort to try it (please don't eat your neighbour's dog though).
If you don't like the experience, park it as something tried but not liked, but praise yourself for having the confidence to try it.
If you liked it, mark that down as one down, thousands to go! And WELL DONE!
Next, move on to a slightly more unsure area. Maybe try doing a presentation to colleagues, where normally you're the one hiding at the back of the meeting room, or bake a cake for friends who you've not baked for before. This time you can judge other's reactions to your new confidence. What's the worst that can happen? Would someone really stand up and tell you your presentation is crap? Would they spit out the cake in front of you? Chances are 99% of your audience will be polite. Even if they didn't like the cake, they're not going to be rude about it, and if they liked it, you'll have put a big smile on someone's face.
The harder challenge is to make a new friend. This confidence boost relies on someone else responding in the exact way that you picture it in your mind. We can't read other's minds, so we really can't preempt their reaction. What we can do though is give it a go. Remind ourselves of the confidence we've had in eating new foods, talking in front of other, petting that dog etc. and just go all out for it.
Actually, the response isn't then what will give you even more confidence, it's the way you handle yourself and keep on going.
Confidence is not "They WILL like me!". Confidence IS "I don't care if they don't!"
You can do it, go out and be your own hero.
Monday, 14 March 2016
Don't give up on yourself
We are where we are at this precise moment in our lives, and many of us have dreams and aspirations to be somewhere else, to be doing something else and even be someone else.
It doesn't matter how far fetched your dream is, if it's something you want, you should do everything you can to follow it and make it come true. Money, work, relationships, travel, fame - it can all be achieved if you really want it to.
The clue is to ask yourself how much you want to live your dream, if you are prepared to sacrifice your current lifestyle for it and what you need to do to achieve it.
It doesn't matter if you don't achieve your dream immediately, or within a short given timescale. You have the whole of your life ahead of you. Why do you need to be married by the age of 25, or a millionaire at 30? When we put small timescales on our goals, we make them less achievable. Instead of giving yourself a time goal, remind yourself of your end target, remind yourself what you will feel like when you get there, but make sure you have fun on the way.
And it's not cheating to alter your goals or your dreams, maybe you said you wanted to buy a house in London, but on the way to buying your house, you find your ideal home in the countryside, then follow that new route to reaching your goal. As long as it makes you happy and is what you want.
If you think you are never going to reach your goal, ask yourself the questions that you think are stopping you and put plans in place to overcome those hurdles. Your goal will still be there, it may just take a little longer to reach. As I said earlier, you don't need to put timescales on your goals and dreams and sometimes the route to reaching them is just as much fun as when you do hit them.
Don't give up on yourself. Believe in what you can do, follow your dreams and make yourself happy.
It doesn't matter how far fetched your dream is, if it's something you want, you should do everything you can to follow it and make it come true. Money, work, relationships, travel, fame - it can all be achieved if you really want it to.
The clue is to ask yourself how much you want to live your dream, if you are prepared to sacrifice your current lifestyle for it and what you need to do to achieve it.
It doesn't matter if you don't achieve your dream immediately, or within a short given timescale. You have the whole of your life ahead of you. Why do you need to be married by the age of 25, or a millionaire at 30? When we put small timescales on our goals, we make them less achievable. Instead of giving yourself a time goal, remind yourself of your end target, remind yourself what you will feel like when you get there, but make sure you have fun on the way.
And it's not cheating to alter your goals or your dreams, maybe you said you wanted to buy a house in London, but on the way to buying your house, you find your ideal home in the countryside, then follow that new route to reaching your goal. As long as it makes you happy and is what you want.
If you think you are never going to reach your goal, ask yourself the questions that you think are stopping you and put plans in place to overcome those hurdles. Your goal will still be there, it may just take a little longer to reach. As I said earlier, you don't need to put timescales on your goals and dreams and sometimes the route to reaching them is just as much fun as when you do hit them.
Don't give up on yourself. Believe in what you can do, follow your dreams and make yourself happy.
Friday, 26 February 2016
Learning when to take a step back
Today's blog has come quite easily to me and is something that even as a Life Coach, I need to tell myself over and over.
We constantly strive to be the best we can, we are told to push to the limit, get out of our comfort zone, reach all the goals we want to reach and everything that we want, with some hard work we can get.
This is all great, but there comes a point, where actually, it's time to review the situation and stop pushing. It by no means equates to failure, but rather, a change in the road we are following, and we can continue our path of success down a slightly different route.
If you are at work, working your socks off, and pushing, pushing for promotion. You know you can do the job, you know you deserve it but the promotion is not coming. You get out of your comfort zone and ask your boss for that promotion, and your boss tells you it's not quite the right time. Do you give up and sit back at your desk for another year? You cannot push any further, but you can change your route, and perhaps look outside the organisation you're in now, and look for that promotion as a new job, and probably a bigger salary. Not giving up, but changing your route.
If you have a friend who you put a lot of time and effort in, you invite her to all your "do's", take her kids out when she is at work, laugh at her jokes and think about when you're both old and reminiscing about the olden days whilst your grandkids are playing in the park together. And then you wonder why she never returns the invitations. You're not invited back to her house, not part of the party and only called on for emergency babysitting. Do you push the friendship or do you step back and ask yourself what you are getting out of it? If you're life long dream is to be a charity babysitter then keep going, but if you're after an equal friendship (surely if this was your other half, you wouldn't accept this behaviour would you?), then time to change the path and seek an alternative one, taking your social skills you've learned with you for the next lucky person.
And finally, when you decide you can be a cordon bleu chef, you "throw" together an amazing concoction of herbs and spices, mixed in with your mince and veg, lightly cooked over a medium heat, a little more herbs, a secret chunk of dark chocolate, another spoonful of ready crushed garlic, toss it all around and serve on a bed of quinoa and chickpea with pepper and banana jus...... and your guests are suddenly so full up from their melon starter that they can't possibly eat all their main course... it's time to either progress by booking yourself on a cookery course, or simplifying the menu for next time and make your Grandma's recipe of shepherds pie, just as everyone remembers and loves.
GO for it, but stop when you need to!
xx
We constantly strive to be the best we can, we are told to push to the limit, get out of our comfort zone, reach all the goals we want to reach and everything that we want, with some hard work we can get.
This is all great, but there comes a point, where actually, it's time to review the situation and stop pushing. It by no means equates to failure, but rather, a change in the road we are following, and we can continue our path of success down a slightly different route.
If you are at work, working your socks off, and pushing, pushing for promotion. You know you can do the job, you know you deserve it but the promotion is not coming. You get out of your comfort zone and ask your boss for that promotion, and your boss tells you it's not quite the right time. Do you give up and sit back at your desk for another year? You cannot push any further, but you can change your route, and perhaps look outside the organisation you're in now, and look for that promotion as a new job, and probably a bigger salary. Not giving up, but changing your route.
If you have a friend who you put a lot of time and effort in, you invite her to all your "do's", take her kids out when she is at work, laugh at her jokes and think about when you're both old and reminiscing about the olden days whilst your grandkids are playing in the park together. And then you wonder why she never returns the invitations. You're not invited back to her house, not part of the party and only called on for emergency babysitting. Do you push the friendship or do you step back and ask yourself what you are getting out of it? If you're life long dream is to be a charity babysitter then keep going, but if you're after an equal friendship (surely if this was your other half, you wouldn't accept this behaviour would you?), then time to change the path and seek an alternative one, taking your social skills you've learned with you for the next lucky person.
And finally, when you decide you can be a cordon bleu chef, you "throw" together an amazing concoction of herbs and spices, mixed in with your mince and veg, lightly cooked over a medium heat, a little more herbs, a secret chunk of dark chocolate, another spoonful of ready crushed garlic, toss it all around and serve on a bed of quinoa and chickpea with pepper and banana jus...... and your guests are suddenly so full up from their melon starter that they can't possibly eat all their main course... it's time to either progress by booking yourself on a cookery course, or simplifying the menu for next time and make your Grandma's recipe of shepherds pie, just as everyone remembers and loves.
GO for it, but stop when you need to!
xx
Monday, 8 February 2016
Why do I do things I don't want to?
We spend our lives telling ourselves to be more "us", to do what we want to do and to be who we want to be. Especially as a Life Coach, it's my job to tell you to think about the things that will help YOU become a happier and more content person and to brush aside those things that don't add value. And then we watch ourselves doing something we really don't want to be doing, and wonder why all those positive comments have gone to waste!
They've not. Despite making ourselves happier, more confident, more secure and more successful, we do a lot of things for those we love to prevent what could just be a short period of anger. arguments or other.
If you are in a relationship with someone who you truly love, you will sacrifice so much more than you possibly even mean to, if you think it's going to keep your loved one happy, or more so, prevent them from getting upset and angry. They may not even realise you are doing this, but our subconscious will think to protect our relationships before putting our own needs first.
It's a simple equation of working out whether you would upset yourself or your loved one more, and most of the time, we can explain to ourselves why we've done what we've done, where as the longer term effects of upsetting a loved one can hang around a lot longer.
So, when you're sitting with your loved ones friends, being the designated driver, talking about things you have zero interest in, look at is as banked favours rather than the bain on your life and those hours you will never get back again.
And if you then need to call in those favours, you can drop a gentle reminder of what you did do, remind your lover of how great you are, and how they can do the same for you, to keep the family peace with that understanding of how love can really find a way!
They've not. Despite making ourselves happier, more confident, more secure and more successful, we do a lot of things for those we love to prevent what could just be a short period of anger. arguments or other.
If you are in a relationship with someone who you truly love, you will sacrifice so much more than you possibly even mean to, if you think it's going to keep your loved one happy, or more so, prevent them from getting upset and angry. They may not even realise you are doing this, but our subconscious will think to protect our relationships before putting our own needs first.
It's a simple equation of working out whether you would upset yourself or your loved one more, and most of the time, we can explain to ourselves why we've done what we've done, where as the longer term effects of upsetting a loved one can hang around a lot longer.
So, when you're sitting with your loved ones friends, being the designated driver, talking about things you have zero interest in, look at is as banked favours rather than the bain on your life and those hours you will never get back again.
And if you then need to call in those favours, you can drop a gentle reminder of what you did do, remind your lover of how great you are, and how they can do the same for you, to keep the family peace with that understanding of how love can really find a way!
Tuesday, 5 January 2016
Why I am and Life Coach and Why I use a Life Coach
My whole life I have been a bit "different". Now as a Life Coach I will immediately tell you that different is good, and ask you to define ordinary! But back in the 80's different was being a bit chubby, under 5 foot with a lisp. Potentially a bully's dream. But from the word go, I knew I wasn't going to let anyone get the better of me.
I am a nosy parker, I want to be in the "in crowd" and if I can't keep up with being in the "in crowd" I just want to know what they're all up to, so that I don't feel that I'm missing out.
At school I was bullied just a little bit. I was called some short-ist names and made to run around the playground for others amusement. I never let this get to me, because at the end of the day, I was still getting what I wanted. Whether it was a go on someone else's new Skateboard, or an invite to a party. In hindsight, some of the kids were quite mean. I won't hold that against them now though. In my teens and as I left school to go to college, it was all about the social groups, being invited out every weekend and also boys! I loved boys and I wanted them to love me too. So I made sure I was fun. The short chubby girl with a lisp was always up for a laugh, she was kind and friendly, and one of the first to pass her driving license. Friends with the girls and boys and still a good girl, never missing lessons and always handing my homework in on time, but I wasn't really happy with my weight and I suffered with Bulimia for many years. I thought it was putting me in control, and allowing me to be loud and funny and get the attention I wanted without being labelled as fat.
On to Uni and my circle of friends grew. I was friends with the girls and one of the lads. I realised I wasn't a good drinker, so rather than miss out on many parties and club nights out, it was easier to be the designated driver and happy to drink my Pepsi all night and chauffeur the other guys home at 2am. I was potentially being used because people knew I would always drive if they asked, but in return, I WAS asked and that was most important to me. I wasn't the cool kid, I was still up at 8am for fear of missing my lessons, even after 3 hours sleep. My only real problem was the Bulimia which was getting worse, as I didn't have my parents around to second guess my actions. I did have my best friend though, and he threatened getting my mother involved if I didn't seek help. I went to the Doctor who put me on Prozac. I told all my friends because they were TRUE friends. They were all supportive. I don't like to keep secrets about myself from others and I knew deep down that by showing my friends I had sought help, they had my back, each and every one of them. I have never felt that my friends didn't support me, and through time, if I have felt that way, then I've removed that friend from my phone book. As part of my Uni course I spent a couple of terms living in Germany. It was here that I really learned to love myself, and the company I give myself. Again, I went out of my way and totally out of my comfort zone to make sure I knew what was going on with my new German friends, there was no way I was going to miss out, language barrier or no language barrier! But in Germany there were a lot of weekends where I was totally alone, and this is where I learned to be my own best friend. To compliment myself on what I was doing well, what I was wearing well and how I was coping. If I didn't. as was noted on a few occasions. I became quite depressed and would sit in my room for days, too afraid to come out and face the town alone. I believe this was the true start of my Life Coaching. Myself being my first client.
Realising that I am my own best friend, and that I really can make a difference, and can pick out all the positives (I'm still the same person I always was) gave me the skills and confidence to help others do the same. I now Coach others in all walks of life, from partners looking to improve their relationships, to people with Anxiety issues, and in 2015 had the opportunity to work with a number of younger people. I had clients who were leaving school and had no idea of where to go or what to do, I had clients who felt lost and lonely and left out and I had young clients with serious weight issues, not that far off my own when I was a teenager.
With each of these younger clients we worked together to talk about how the felt and how they would want to feel, and with a few sessions under the belt I was able to send them away happy and more confident in their own skins. It is not for me to tell others what to do or how to do it, but to get them to realise how they want to change themselves and how they can find the best from within and bring that out to the forefront.
I go to a Life Coach myself sometimes, because there is always a time when we all need a little push from someone else to get us to realise what is lying inside. If I'm feeling a little lost or a little low, or sometimes to get that little bit of help to realise a goal and realise that I can do what I want to do, and have a lot of fun getting there too!
I am a nosy parker, I want to be in the "in crowd" and if I can't keep up with being in the "in crowd" I just want to know what they're all up to, so that I don't feel that I'm missing out.
At school I was bullied just a little bit. I was called some short-ist names and made to run around the playground for others amusement. I never let this get to me, because at the end of the day, I was still getting what I wanted. Whether it was a go on someone else's new Skateboard, or an invite to a party. In hindsight, some of the kids were quite mean. I won't hold that against them now though. In my teens and as I left school to go to college, it was all about the social groups, being invited out every weekend and also boys! I loved boys and I wanted them to love me too. So I made sure I was fun. The short chubby girl with a lisp was always up for a laugh, she was kind and friendly, and one of the first to pass her driving license. Friends with the girls and boys and still a good girl, never missing lessons and always handing my homework in on time, but I wasn't really happy with my weight and I suffered with Bulimia for many years. I thought it was putting me in control, and allowing me to be loud and funny and get the attention I wanted without being labelled as fat.
On to Uni and my circle of friends grew. I was friends with the girls and one of the lads. I realised I wasn't a good drinker, so rather than miss out on many parties and club nights out, it was easier to be the designated driver and happy to drink my Pepsi all night and chauffeur the other guys home at 2am. I was potentially being used because people knew I would always drive if they asked, but in return, I WAS asked and that was most important to me. I wasn't the cool kid, I was still up at 8am for fear of missing my lessons, even after 3 hours sleep. My only real problem was the Bulimia which was getting worse, as I didn't have my parents around to second guess my actions. I did have my best friend though, and he threatened getting my mother involved if I didn't seek help. I went to the Doctor who put me on Prozac. I told all my friends because they were TRUE friends. They were all supportive. I don't like to keep secrets about myself from others and I knew deep down that by showing my friends I had sought help, they had my back, each and every one of them. I have never felt that my friends didn't support me, and through time, if I have felt that way, then I've removed that friend from my phone book. As part of my Uni course I spent a couple of terms living in Germany. It was here that I really learned to love myself, and the company I give myself. Again, I went out of my way and totally out of my comfort zone to make sure I knew what was going on with my new German friends, there was no way I was going to miss out, language barrier or no language barrier! But in Germany there were a lot of weekends where I was totally alone, and this is where I learned to be my own best friend. To compliment myself on what I was doing well, what I was wearing well and how I was coping. If I didn't. as was noted on a few occasions. I became quite depressed and would sit in my room for days, too afraid to come out and face the town alone. I believe this was the true start of my Life Coaching. Myself being my first client.
Realising that I am my own best friend, and that I really can make a difference, and can pick out all the positives (I'm still the same person I always was) gave me the skills and confidence to help others do the same. I now Coach others in all walks of life, from partners looking to improve their relationships, to people with Anxiety issues, and in 2015 had the opportunity to work with a number of younger people. I had clients who were leaving school and had no idea of where to go or what to do, I had clients who felt lost and lonely and left out and I had young clients with serious weight issues, not that far off my own when I was a teenager.
With each of these younger clients we worked together to talk about how the felt and how they would want to feel, and with a few sessions under the belt I was able to send them away happy and more confident in their own skins. It is not for me to tell others what to do or how to do it, but to get them to realise how they want to change themselves and how they can find the best from within and bring that out to the forefront.
I go to a Life Coach myself sometimes, because there is always a time when we all need a little push from someone else to get us to realise what is lying inside. If I'm feeling a little lost or a little low, or sometimes to get that little bit of help to realise a goal and realise that I can do what I want to do, and have a lot of fun getting there too!
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