Confidence

Why do we lack confidence?
When we are born, we have all the confidence we can handle, we smile at strangers, we reach out to people and things we're not sure what the hell they are. We investigate, we shout, we do everything that we should always do.... and then we grow up.

We spend far too much time worrying about how our behaviour will be accepted by others. We become afraid to approach others in case they don't like us or push us away.  We don't want to try new things because we don't know the outcome, and the less confident we are, the less we try and the more anxious and worried we become.

Here's how to stop this downward spiral, and start an upward turn where you'll be reaching right up to the sky and beyond.

Start with something you know you're just slightly doubtful of. It could be a neighbours dog, or an item of food. If you normally would avoid this, make a big effort to try it (please don't eat your neighbour's dog though).
If you don't like the experience, park it as something tried but not liked, but praise yourself for having the confidence to try it.
If you liked it, mark that down as one down, thousands to go! And WELL DONE!

Next, move on to a slightly more unsure area. Maybe try doing a presentation to colleagues, where normally you're the one hiding at the back of the meeting room, or bake a cake for friends who you've not baked for before. This time you can judge other's reactions to your new confidence. What's the worst that can happen? Would someone really stand up and tell you your presentation is crap? Would they spit out the cake in front of you? Chances are 99% of your audience will be polite. Even if they didn't like the cake, they're not going to be rude about it, and if they liked it,  you'll have put a big smile on someone's face.

The harder challenge is to make a new friend. This confidence boost relies on someone else responding in the exact way that you picture it in your mind. We can't read other's minds, so we really can't preempt their reaction. What we can do though is give it a go.  Remind ourselves of the confidence we've had in eating new foods, talking in front of other, petting that dog etc. and just go all out for it.

Actually, the response isn't then what will give you even more confidence, it's the way you handle yourself and keep on going.

Confidence is not "They WILL like me!". Confidence IS "I don't care if they don't!"

You can do it, go out and be your own hero.