My whole life I have been a bit "different". Now as a Life Coach I will immediately tell you that different is good, and ask you to define ordinary! But back in the 80's different was being a bit chubby, under 5 foot with a lisp. Potentially a bully's dream. But from the word go, I knew I wasn't going to let anyone get the better of me.
I am a nosy parker, I want to be in the "in crowd" and if I can't keep up with being in the "in crowd" I just want to know what they're all up to, so that I don't feel that I'm missing out.
At school I was bullied just a little bit. I was called some short-ist names and made to run around the playground for others amusement. I never let this get to me, because at the end of the day, I was still getting what I wanted. Whether it was a go on someone else's new Skateboard, or an invite to a party. In hindsight, some of the kids were quite mean. I won't hold that against them now though. In my teens and as I left school to go to college, it was all about the social groups, being invited out every weekend and also boys! I loved boys and I wanted them to love me too. So I made sure I was fun. The short chubby girl with a lisp was always up for a laugh, she was kind and friendly, and one of the first to pass her driving license. Friends with the girls and boys and still a good girl, never missing lessons and always handing my homework in on time, but I wasn't really happy with my weight and I suffered with Bulimia for many years. I thought it was putting me in control, and allowing me to be loud and funny and get the attention I wanted without being labelled as fat.
On to Uni and my circle of friends grew. I was friends with the girls and one of the lads. I realised I wasn't a good drinker, so rather than miss out on many parties and club nights out, it was easier to be the designated driver and happy to drink my Pepsi all night and chauffeur the other guys home at 2am. I was potentially being used because people knew I would always drive if they asked, but in return, I WAS asked and that was most important to me. I wasn't the cool kid, I was still up at 8am for fear of missing my lessons, even after 3 hours sleep. My only real problem was the Bulimia which was getting worse, as I didn't have my parents around to second guess my actions. I did have my best friend though, and he threatened getting my mother involved if I didn't seek help. I went to the Doctor who put me on Prozac. I told all my friends because they were TRUE friends. They were all supportive. I don't like to keep secrets about myself from others and I knew deep down that by showing my friends I had sought help, they had my back, each and every one of them. I have never felt that my friends didn't support me, and through time, if I have felt that way, then I've removed that friend from my phone book. As part of my Uni course I spent a couple of terms living in Germany. It was here that I really learned to love myself, and the company I give myself. Again, I went out of my way and totally out of my comfort zone to make sure I knew what was going on with my new German friends, there was no way I was going to miss out, language barrier or no language barrier! But in Germany there were a lot of weekends where I was totally alone, and this is where I learned to be my own best friend. To compliment myself on what I was doing well, what I was wearing well and how I was coping. If I didn't. as was noted on a few occasions. I became quite depressed and would sit in my room for days, too afraid to come out and face the town alone. I believe this was the true start of my Life Coaching. Myself being my first client.
Realising that I am my own best friend, and that I really can make a difference, and can pick out all the positives (I'm still the same person I always was) gave me the skills and confidence to help others do the same. I now Coach others in all walks of life, from partners looking to improve their relationships, to people with Anxiety issues, and in 2015 had the opportunity to work with a number of younger people. I had clients who were leaving school and had no idea of where to go or what to do, I had clients who felt lost and lonely and left out and I had young clients with serious weight issues, not that far off my own when I was a teenager.
With each of these younger clients we worked together to talk about how the felt and how they would want to feel, and with a few sessions under the belt I was able to send them away happy and more confident in their own skins. It is not for me to tell others what to do or how to do it, but to get them to realise how they want to change themselves and how they can find the best from within and bring that out to the forefront.
I go to a Life Coach myself sometimes, because there is always a time when we all need a little push from someone else to get us to realise what is lying inside. If I'm feeling a little lost or a little low, or sometimes to get that little bit of help to realise a goal and realise that I can do what I want to do, and have a lot of fun getting there too!
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