Are you you, or just a parent?

There is no amount of preparation in Ante Natal classes, Gina Ford books, Midwife appointments that can really prepare you for having children. 9 months spent growing this small person inside you, hormones all over the place, other people giving you "advice", telling you what to do. and then out pops this small human being, who is slapped on the bum, made to cry and then handed over to you!
What the hell do you do with it?

As a parent it becomes all too apparent that you know what to do, instincts kick in and baby grows and before you know it you're the expert, telling others what to do, how to bring up baby, what to expect.

But sometimes it can all get a little overwhelming. Where is the old you? Have you lost your identity as an individual in your own right. Will you ever get it back? Do people only talk to you about your baby, how's he doing? is he weaning? No one asks how you are, or what you've eaten for lunch. Do you even ask yourself those questions? Do you find you have lost touch with old non-baby friends? Have they stopped calling you?

But despite having children, you are still you. You need to evaluate the way you are thinking about yourself as a parent and you have the choice of those thoughts. You can choose to think solely about when to prepare the next feed, when to change nappies and what story to read, or you could choose to think about what you will do with your evening, once baby has gone to sleep, what to read, to watch on TV, what to wear tomorrow and how great you are at multi-tasking, how this skill could be used in other areas.

It is SO important to keep your own identity if you still want to be the person you were before your children were born. Everyone loves your children but you still want them to love you, invite you out, have a laugh and talk about something other than nappies and first words. It does not make you love your children less or be less of a parent, in fact, it will make you more of a parent if you have more to share with your children outside of their own activities.
So think about yourself, feel good about yourself, do things for yourself and not only will YOU have a better life, but those around you will too.